Smile When You Feel Pain!!!

Don't worry, that title doesn't mean what you think it does. I'm not in pain. Today was the BEST day I've had in a loooong time. Why? Everything. There wasn't one thing that made it a great day, just lots of little things.

It actually started during the weekend. This was supposed to be my "swan song", if you will. Rusty and I planned to do all sorts of fun things that we couldn't do when I was recovering. And we did. I can't possibly focus on every great thing I did because I'd be writing this post forever. But, I'll give a quick rundown...

- Brimfield with Sarah. It was vintage. I don't think we've done the Brimfield trip like that in a few years. My legs are still sore from walking all day. It was delightful.

- Dinner with Rusty's parents on Saturday evening. They came all the way from Maine just to see us. It was so relaxed. The food was great, the company was even better, and they gave me the most thoughtful and delightful basket full of all kinds of goodies that I'll use when I'm recovering from surgery.

- Fabric shopping.

- Making chili.

- Boob Cast x 2 (more about that later).

- Going to the movies.

Rusty and I went to see Dark Knight (I know, we're a bit behind the curve on that one). The movie theater has a full bar where you can also get food. We had some beer and some appetizers and we were enjoying ourselves, except the bartender was a little nosy. You could tell he had nothing better to do but listen to us talk and try to interject every once in awhile (we were the only people there). Okay, you can only resist that for so long, so we gave in. We started talking to him a bit and he told us how he was finishing up college and he was studying computers. He was hoping to finish soon. He was getting a discount on the tuition because his mom worked at the college but she may have to quit her job soon because she was going through breast cancer treatment.

Wow.

It turns out she has the same surgeon, probably the same oncologist, and by my calculations she probably was diagnosed around the same time as me. It was weird, but somehow it comforted me. Instead of being mad like I usually am when someone stops me in the grocery store or Staples to talk to me about cancer, I was oddly serene and happy about the whole thing. Anyway, the movie was great.

Now, onto today. Today was very difficult at work. I couldn't focus on anything. I was very distracted and I was trying to wrap things up as best I could. I stayed a little late because I had Pilates class today (my last class for a long time) and the timing works out so that I leave work between 6:00 and 6:30 and get to the class in Worcester around 7:15. Around 5:45 the phone started ringing. And ringing.

One sister, two friends, two aunts, two grandmothers, and a partridge in a pear tree. :-) Not that I'm complaining. Everyone is wishing me well for my surgery. Every time someone calls me it makes me smile. I know it sounds corny, but it really does make me feel so special.

So, tonight was my last Pilates class. Right after I finished chemo, I started doing Pilates again (I stopped basically right after I got diagnosed, which was probably a mistake, but I know I definitely did not have the energy to do it all through chemo). It's really helped me build up my strength, establish a workout routine, and feel like I'm really getting healthy. I absolutely love it love it love it.

Anyway, I don't want my Pilates teacher to worry about me, so I decided to tell her at the end of class that this would be my last class for quite some time. I told her that I was going for a mastectomy and she gave me a big hug and wanted to get my contact info. Until this day, my Pilates teacher of 8 months-ish didn't even know my name. Now she wants to give me a Pilates DVD for breast cancer patients and visit me after I'm feeling better. Wow! It was awesome. I told her how important her class was for me me and my recovery and how my core strength is going to be really important after surgery (it's true... I read it on the internet).

The best part was when she told me that I was inspiring to her because every time she looked at me I was smiling. I laughed and reminded her that's because she always says, "Smile when you feel pain!"

Anyway, I have let go quite a bit and things have been really good. Tomorrow, the hospital is supposed to tell me when my surgery is going to be on Wednesday. I will post it when I know. I've arranged for Rusty to guest blog on the day of the surgery, so everyone can get an update. I appreciate everyone's good thoughts and well wishes, and everything. Really.