Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

I have no idea what to write about today. I've thought about maybe a list of Do's and Don'ts regarding what to say to someone with cancer (I think I'm a bit of an expert at that now), but I'm kind of feeling down and exhausted so I thought it might get a little negative and make me feel even worse. (But don't worry - I really looking forward to writing that one...) I'm really trying to keep my spirits up and not dwell on overly negative topics because I feel like it won't be good for myself and those around me.

Today I found out that my first day of chemo will be next Thursday, April 24th. I really hoped it would be sooner. I just want to start it. It's like "waiting for the other shoe to drop." I'm already prepared for what chemo is going to do to my body. I'm not all that distressed about losing my hair (of course, that's easy to say now). It will be a good conversation starter. :-) Seriously, though... every time I see someone I make a decision in my mind about whether or not I should tell them. If I do, it wears me out. If I don't, I feel like I'm hiding something. If I have no hair, there will be no avoiding it.

Speaking of losing my hair, I'm thinking I'm going to go bandanna. I figured I can get lots of different colors and then it will be fun. I will have as many bandannas as my sister has hoodies (you should see her collection). The only weird thing is that I couldn't find a Red Sox bandanna, and that makes me kind of mad. The only one they have is for dogs and I refuse to wear something that was marketed to canines. That really pisses me off. I can get a Nascar bandanna, but not a Red Sox one. I can get a Jack Daniels bandanna, but no Red Sox. Professional Bull Riding, but no Sox (seriously... what's "professional" about bull riding?)

Whatever. I ended up buying lots of other bandannas online. I ordered a pack of 20 paisley ones of all different colors. This way, I will always have a bandanna to match my outfit :-) I also got several Grateful Dead bandannas in different colors. On the bottom is a purple one. Notice the Dancing Bears and the Steal Your Face's in the corners.

If I have to lose my hair at least I can have fun with it. And at least I can be thankful that I don't have hair down to my waist anymore. That would be pretty dramatic. I'm not as attached to it anymore.

Anyway, sorry I couldn't be a little more interesting for today's post. Tomorrow I have a chest X-ray and a MUGA scan. It's a test that makes sure my heart is functioning properly because chemo can damage it, so they want to make sure I'm healthy from the start. Shouldn't be any problems there.