D-Day (Diagnosis Day)

Two days later, I received a phone call from my doctor's office. My doctor would like to see me to review the results. Hmph. I was kind of annoyed that I would have to drive all that way just to review the results (I work about 45 minutes away from home and from my doctor's office in Worcester).

Me: "Well, I work an hour away..."

Her: "Oh, that's great."

Me: "Well, no, not really. It will take me an hour to get there, so can we do it toward the end of the day?

Her: "How about 11:45?"

Me: "Uh, okay, fine."

So now I'm thinking she's incompentent (since when is 11:45 toward the end of the day?), but I figured I could just work from home for the rest of the day.

Wait.

Why do I have to go to my doctor's office for the results?

I called Rusty to let him know what just happened and he said "Oh, no." At this point I'm getting a little freaked out. Rusty would be on the next train to Worcester (he works in Boston), but he won't be back in time for my appointment. I immediately went to my boss's office to tell him that "something medical is going on" (so he would understand why I was out two days earlier and why I would be out the rest of the day today). I started crying. I told him that I had a mammogram and they had to do further testing... blah blah blah. Poor guy. He's like in his late 40's and he's got his new employee in his office, a 27-year-old female, blubbering and going on an on about her boobs. He said that I would be in his thoughts, and that my health was the most important thing right now... blah blah blah.

I kind of wanted someone to be there with me, but I'm thinking "this is no big deal" and refused to call my mom at work to come to my appointment with me. Boy would I look like a retard when my doctor says "well, we didn't get a good tissue sample with the biopsy so..."

I left for my appointment. On the way home, my mom calls. "Oh God" I think. What am I going to tell her? She knows my results are coming in today.

Mom: "Hi Megan, where are you?" (Damn she's good)

Me: "Hi Mom, I'm uh driving to my doctor's appointment" (choking back tears)

Mom: "Ooooh"

I don't remember much of what was said after that, but she was on her way. I do remember crying for most of the drive to the doctor's office. Every once in awhile I would stop crying and I'd feel silly. I knew the odds. Something like a .05% chance that I would get cancer based on my age. And I think something like .3% of breast cancer cases are detected in women under 30 (not entirely sure about that one). If I'm this lucky, why do I always come home empty-handed from Vegas?

Anyway, I get to my doctor's office, and eventually she came into the room. She sat down, and she had a pretty good poker face. Very slowly, she said what I was waiting for. Her words were something to the effect of "they found some abnormal cells in your biopsy"... "and those cells are cancerous". And I was shocked. "Oh, wow" and I started to cry a little.

She had already set up an appointment for me with a surgical oncologist that evening. Pretty quick. She really seemed just as surprised as I was by the whole thing, but she was already getting the ball rolling. Our conversation only lasted about 15 minutes. She described a few things about the results (none of it meant very much to me) and she made sure I had a good support system. I remember her telling me that I would have to have someone at the appointment that could be calm, level-headed, and could take notes. I knew that would be my mom. She didn't really believe that my mom could do that but I knew she would.

I called my mom, who was on her way to Worcester, and told her the news. I bawled my eyes out on the way home.