Feeling Good...

Nothing witty or insightful today (is there a pattern here?) but I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still doing very well. I have a little bit of muscle soreness, but that could be because I weeded my vegetable garden, planted more tomatoes (to compensate for some of the decrepit ones that died), weeded half of my perennial garden, and cleaned the house (together with Rusty). I was kind of brimming with energy and motivation because I've been feeling so crappy for the past couple of months. Maybe it's because I have no more LOST to watch... :-)

I haven't experienced any pins and needles, and thus far I am not on a special neutropenic diet. (Neutropenia is when white blood cell counts are so low that the body had a hard time fighting bacteria found in uncooked fruits and vegetables, soft cheeses, undercooked meat, etc.).

I've been really busy at work, which is such a good thing for my emotional well-being. When I'm debugging a problem I get very focussed, and that's exactly why I wanted to work through the whole ordeal.

Thank you for reading!

The Devil You Don't Know...

So today was the first round of Taxol. Taxol is another chemotherapy drug commonly used to treat breast cancer. The last time I went in for chemo, my nurse said that Taxol was generally milder, so I got really excited. Then I did some research and got a little scared. Then my cousin, Noreen, who just went through breast cancer treatment (hi Noreen! Hope you don't mind me mentioning you...) said that Taxol was worse for her.

So, I'll admit, I was a little nervous. Mr. Wizard asked me how I was doing and I said "pretty good", and he remembered that last time I said "great". So he asked why the downgrade?

"Well, my energy is a little down."

He asked me if I was still exercising (sadly, not as much as I feel I should), but I explained that the heat has been slowing me down (kind of a lame excuse, but he did tell me not to run in the heat and there were something like 5 days of 90+ degree heat).

He told me it was okay to take it easy and listen to my body. "And besides, you're such a fireball that your 100% is more like 130% for everyone else, so you just know how the rest of us feel now" :-) I think he typically sees me in a particularly excited state because I tend to have a rush of adrenaline on chemo days.

Then I told him about my concerns about Taxol. I did some research, and the worst side-effects are lumped under the term "neuropathy". From what I read, that one word doesn't do these side-effects any justice. I think most side-effects are felt in the hands, feet, and legs. Patients feel enduring "pins and needles" (oh, that's just mean - I can't even handle pins and needles for 30 seconds), pain in the legs, and pain on the bottom of the feet (are you kidding me? that's just cruel).

Mr. Wizard discussed the potential problems and the likelihood of me experiencing these side-effects, as well as what is our course of action if I do have a big problem. One of the major concerns with these side-effects is that they can actually get worse for months after the last dose is given. So, if I have severe problems with the first treatment, they are likely to get worse with the second treatment. If they get too bad, we will likely switch to a different taxotere drug or stop treatments altogether. He told me I was not allowed to minimize the symptoms, and he would ask me questions about picking up small objects and my handwriting.

We agreed that since I don't actually write with my hands very often, we'd use typing speed :-) I type really fast - I think i take over my mom for that.

So, onto the drip... We were there pretty early because it takes longer to administer Taxol, so we had our pick of the rooms. Phew. Then it took forever for the nurse to show up. Unfortunately, my usual nurse had the day off. How dare she take a day off on my chemo day? Just kidding. I missed her and I will let her know at my next treatment.

First, they gave me Benadryl (you know that stuff you take to stop itching) because the Taxol can cause redness and itching. Well, the Benadryl can cause drowsiness. That knocked me out. I was so tired I fell asleep. Weird.

The whole process, from the time I got there until the time I left, lasted 7 hours!! That's kind of like a job. Usually, we're there for 3-4 hours.

That's pretty much it. At this point I feel significantly better than I would after a round of AC. I have no nausea or ookeyness. For awhile I felt a bit like my head was in the clouds, but that's gone. Rusty and I even went out to dinner tonight, which is a total rarity on chemo.

So, if I've learned one thing, it's that chemo side-effects are like the weather in Massachusetts - wait a minute and it'll change. I'm hoping my body does react well to Taxol because I would like to live like a real human being again for a change, instead of half a human being. We shall see, and I promise to keep you "posted".

What I've Been Doing Lately...

Yeah, I've been slacking on the whole blog thing lately. There are a couple of reasons... I've been having a much harder time with chemo this round. The side effects are worse, and I have some new ones. I don't really want to talk about it, other than saying I've been kind of miserable in a dull, mostly non-acute kind of way.

I also was thinking that most of you would understand because I've been busy the last few weeks, and I've been with many of you at one point or another. But then I realized that few people have been with me for all these different events, so I could probably update you all on what's been happening.

There are the things I already wrote about... the trip to Chicago, the Red Sox game, my newfound addiction to LOST (don't worry, that will no longer affect my blogging because we've caught up to the rest of the world in record time). Then there are the things I didn't write about as they were happening for one reason or another. They all fit into 3 neat categories - family, friends, and work.

Family
For Memorial Day weekend, several of my cousins, aunts (and one uncle!) came up to visit from Louisiana, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and out of town in Massachusetts. We went to Vinny T's for lunch, and that wore me out for the rest of the weekend ;-)

I'm lacking pictures of the weekend, but I do have a whimsical picture that my stepdad created of my mom and her sisters. That way you can put a face to the name when you see the responses...From left to right, it's Celine, Francine, Louise, and Pauline (my mom), and they're on top of a quilt that my mom is almost finished making (I think it's for my sister). The blue sky is photo-shopped in.

Friends
My close friend, Vicki, is getting married in a little over two weeks. Vicki and I met back in high school at Bishop Stang, and Vicki introduced me to Sarah. We are all best friends, and Sarah and I are in Vicki's wedding. We've been planning Vicki's bachelorette party, which was last weekend. My time has been occupied making handbags as favors for all the girls who went (they're simple, colorful, striped bags modeled after one that I use ALL the time). Of course, my mom made most of them, but I helped! Sarah made the rest of the favors (flower pots and herb seeds, martini glasses with drink charms). Sarah and I also made a picnic lunch for everyone. The menu:

• Beer -can roasted chicken, made into 2 chicken salads
  
• one with mayonnaise, grapes, and pecans
• the other with olive oil, dried cranberries, and pistachios
• Grilled zucchini, squash, and eggplant sandwiches with mozzarella (Vicki is vegetarian)
• Kettle Chips
• Brownies
• Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
• Fruit salad
• Fresh-squeezed lemonade with thyme-infused simple syrup
  

Mmm... That took all night to prepare :-) I have zero pictures of that day, but maybe I'll get some soon.

Work
I've been pretty busy at work. I feel kind of like 75% of an employee because I haven't been able to get in to work for a few days each round of chemo, and I've got mad chemo brain. I oftentimes feel like my head is in the clouds or like I have a bad cold and I can't think straight. It's so incredibly frustrating for an engineer to feel this way because I rely on being sharp to do my job. Luckily, I can work from home, so on days that I can't make it in I'm usually just as productive from home. Or, I can come home after a good day of work and finish up a few things. But enough about me... the cool thing is that the team I'm working on just launched the first release of the product. Unfortunately, I missed all of the launch festivities because of chemo :-( Grr...

And finally, as promised, I have some pictures of some of my shaven-head family.

This one is my dad. It's pretty shocking, considering my dad has had the same hairstyle (not shaved) ever since I can remember. So at least two and a half decades.

This is me and mom at Brimfield.

This is a cute one of Rusty holding two 6-packs when we were in Chicago. Just the way I like him :-)

Chemo Round 4

I had my fourth round of chemo today, which was my final round of Adriamycin and Cytoxan. Boy, this day couldn't come soon enough. I'm looking forward to the switch to Taxol, which is supposed to be easier on my body than the A/C treatments. With the Taxol, I'll have an overall achy feeling, but the nurse told me today that there aren't really any nausea problems with it.

Some good news - my tumor is now unnoticeable with a manual exam. I had noticed about a day or so ago that I could no longer feel it. It may still be there, but if you've ever felt a boob (haha) you know that there's a certain amount of natural lumpiness. That's exactly how it feels right now - there isn't a defined tumor-like lump. Mr. Wizard (the medical oncologist) agreed, and seemed quite pleased. In fact, I think he said it was "fantastic". :-)

I was also quite pleased about my blood counts. They were late getting the results, so I didn't get a full discussion with Mr. Wizard about that, but I was concerned because last time my hemoglobin was way down and he said that I was "borderline" as far as treatment goes. That might mean that I wouldn't be able to have today's treatment as scheduled, because I would need Procrit to help boost my hemoglobin.

That would not do. The rest of my summer is based on "chemo weeks" and "off weeks". And many things were scheduled before that concept existed in my vocabulary, and serendipitously a lot of events worked out well. My trip to Chicago last weekend was one of them. Brimfield was a good week. More importantly, my future events are on good weeks, too. My next scheduled trip to Chicago in August is one, (I really miss Jocelyn :-) and Vicki's wedding (in which I am a bridesmaid) is on another good week.

So, I decided last week that I had to really focus on eating very well to boost my hemoglobin levels. I had kale with dinner nearly every single night. Poor Rusty - he hates the smell of kale cooking and detests the taste of kale even more. But he was very happy to participate when we went to Lawry's Prime Rib restaurant with Jocelyn for our anniversary (Thanks, Dad & Sharon!) when we were in Chicago. This treatment, my hemoglobin levels were actually up over last time (and I was just hoping to maintain to keep my schedule on track). I was quite thrilled.

Okay, one more tidbit...

Last night we went to see the Red Sox with Mom & Billy. Mom got the tickets through a business contact. OMG, these were the best seats I've ever seen! I have a picture of our view of the field:

That picture really doesn't do it justice because it's from my camera phone. Those guys in blue are in row 1, and we're in row 6. Objects in the camera phone are closer than they appear ;-)

And this was so cool... A beer man in the stands!! This particular beer man was serving Miller Lite, so I had to take a picture for my dad:

If you've been to other ballparks but you haven't been to Fenway in a few decades, this may not be that shocking. In all other areas of the ballpark, they do not sell beer in the stands. If you want a beer, you've got to go out to the concourse and stand in a mile-long line to get one. Now, I wasn't all that thrilled with their selection (especially for such good seats - don't they think these fans would prefer a Sam Adams or a Guinness? Hell... charge me 9 bucks while you're at it!), but I appreciate the effort. I, of course, had my one alcoholic beverage of the day outside the ballpark at the Boston Beer Works microbrewery. I had a Victory White ale. Mmm... beer. Rusty had to get a Miller Lite from the beer guy in the stands simply for the novelty factor.

Jocelyn said that she could see us a lot on ESPN, but we weren't very visible on NESN. Oh well. The important part was our view of the game, not everyone's view of us. We had such a great time and my mom and I ate kettle corn until our stomachs hurt (which is really the only way I know how to eat kettle corn).

So, after I posted, it occurred to me that I forgot to ask everyone... what's YOUR favorite guilty pleasure TV show? (clearly, my mom knew I meant to ask that question :-)

I've been LOST...

In case you haven't noticed, I've been a little absent lately. After the initial shock of being diagnosed has worn off, my life has kind of gotten back to normal. I haven't had much free time. So, what have I been doing all this time?

One thing I've been doing lately is watching LOST. To those who don't watch it, this might sound pathetic. Rusty and I kind of discovered it and started watching from the beginning a few weeks ago. At first we were watching it through Netflix, which meant that we had a limited number of one-hour episodes in the house at any given period of time. I could still actually do other things then. Then we discovered how we could watch them on our big screen TV using Rusty's laptop. Big mistake.

Yes, I've been spending a lot of time watching TV. But not just any TV. If you've never seen the show, it's hard to understand. I like it because it's like a whole other world that we're watching - a bizarre, confusing, intriguing world. I don't think it's a coincidence that my life "got back to normal" when we started watching it. It makes me think about something else for an hour, which is impressive! Something that can hold my attention and make me not think about cancer for a full hour must be very special, indeed.

Rest assured - this will soon come to a screeching halt once Rusty and I get caught up to the end of Season 4, which we just began watching (SO NO SPOILERS!!!). This is as far as the TV show has gotten to date, and then we'll have to wait until next season to watch it like the rest of the world. I can't wait.

Bad Robot!

Greetings From Chicago

Okay, I don't have too much time to blog today but I thought I'd send a quick note from Chicago. Rusty and I are visiting my sister this weekend, and my my mom and Billy are here, too. The main "reason" for visiting (other than the obvious joy of seeing Jocelyn) was to do a 5k through the Lincoln Park Zoo. When Jocelyn and I were planning the trip, we had visions of monkeys cheering us on. (rather than throwing their poo at us, as Rusty suggested :-)

So, today, I'll just post a few pictures and then I'll get on with our visit. I was told by my oncologist to take it easy, but my time was about the same as the worst I've ever done not on chemo, so it wasn't too bad :-)

Here is a picture of us at the zoo before the race:

This is me and Mom pinning our numbers on our shirts. Jocelyn is a little camera-shy, so she managed to get out of this picture:
This is us putting our timing chips on our shoes. It was a little tougher for Jocelyn to get away from the camera in this position :-)

Me before the race:

This is a picture from the architecture tour we took - it's a popular tourist activity. Several companies offer tours on the riverboat where they point out interesting facts about the city, the architecture of the many buildings that line the river, etc. I like this building - the Chicago Merchandise Mart. It's so big, it has its own ZIP code! It took forever for the boat to move far enough away that I could actually get the entire building in the viewfinder:

And here's a picture of the Chicago skyline. The large building in the center back is the Sears Tower.
Okay, that's it. I promise to be better about blogging this week...