Listen as she speaks to you

Everything Megan said had meaning. Sometimes we received fragments of her thoughts that allowed us to determine what she needed, such as a request of a beautiful song. Sometimes Megan spoke in complete, coherent, perfect requests.

On Sunday, after a break from Hurricane Irene, Megan wanted to go outside. It was still quite overcast and a little chilly, but the ninth of 2011’s named storms, and the first to reach hurricane status, was largely behind us, so out we went.

With help, Megan was still able to walk, and so we commenced on another of our favorite last dances, and together we went. Mom Lally and Jocelyn quickly navigated a chair to a nice spot on the porch and I helped Megan sit down. Wrapped in Jennifer’s beautiful hand-knit shawl, Megan sat on our favorite porch, that we had built with our own blood, sweat and tears just two summers before. We all enjoyed a few minutes of the post-storm calm. Although there was no sun to be seen, and there remained a periodic wind that would blow an occasional drop of rain onto Megan’s face, this was still a beautiful day.

Sometimes, Megan said things that we just didn’t understand. When she was speaking with one foot in the next world, to reuse Nancy’s phrase. We quickly decided that we would write these statements down in the hopes that as we shared notes or compared one statement to another from several hours before, some meaning might emerge, and we could be sure we were keeping Megan comfortable and as happy as possible.

Megan often spoke of a little girl. Sometimes this little girl beckoned her to come towards her. Sometimes the girl needed help. At least once, I learned that she had red hair. I wrote many other phrases down, but this was a recurring theme.

Daisy, our hospice nurse, later told us that many people in hospice care see children or relatives that had previously passed away. Megan had also talked about “going home”, and “making it to the next stage”, and Daisy let us know that this was also to be expected. Megan, she explained, was very much aware of what was happening to her and the road ahead.

It was now Monday, and Daisy thought that road could go on for a while. The Lasix and the Lactulose were only just starting and Megan was still physically strong. Our main focus needed to be keeping Megan comfortable, but she agreed that those drugs were worth continuing and there was still hope for the positive effects of those drugs that we so desired. She said she thought we were doing a good job, and that she would see us again on Wednesday. As she departed, Daisy reiterated that keeping Megan comfortable was the primary goal.

When Marlene, Megan’s massage therapist called up later that day and expressed her desire to visit, we agreed that nothing would make Megan more comfortable.

Armed with beautifully scented oils, her strong, yet delicate hands, and her huge heart, Marlene came to visit and was greeted by Megan with the hugest smile I had seen in quite some time. When Marlene asked Megan if she’d like a foot massage the smile grew and was accompanied by a resounding Yes.


For a few minutes, as Marlene gently massaged and lovingly soothed her feet, Megan was whisked off to her favorite spa for a lazy afternoon of pedicures, manicures and gossip with the girls (Mémère, Mom Lally and Jocelyn, no-doubt). When the massage was over, Marlene gave Megan a big hug and the spa trip was over, but I knew we were doing our best to be sure Megan was as comfortable as was possible.