N.E.D.

N.E.D.

That stands for "No Evidence of Disease". It's a term that I've seen thrown around a lot in the online community for cancer patients and survivors. It's an accurate way to describe my situation, and many cancer "survivors". We don't know if we've been cured. Most likely, you never really know if you've been cured, at least not until you die of something else. I think doctors avoid using the word "cure" for that reason. They really can't look a patient in the eye and honestly tell them that they have been cured.

Today marks one year since I have finished cancer treatments, and there is no evidence of disease. Last year, on the day after Thanksgiving, I had my final radiation treatment. My muscles and tissue on my left side are still a little off - I know that's because of the radiation. I can't stretch as well there, and it's not as soft. That should gradually get better, but this may be as good as it gets. I guess I can live with that :-)

Sometimes I get sad, amazed, and emotional when I think about all I've been through, but I don't think about it as much anymore. At one point I couldn't go an hour without thinking about cancer. Then I couldn't go a day. It gets easier and easier to think of myself as a normal person. I still have very frequent check-ins with my oncologist, I have little to no estrogen in my body, and I still look at my naked chest and know it's not normal. However, it's now a normal part of life.

And, now, time for a Red Letter Year goal check-in:

1) Instead of running a marathon, I did a half marathon. I'm not upset about it. I am so proud of the 13.1 mile distance :-)

2) I am scheduled for surgery on January 11th for nipples. Yay! It is a little later than I'd hoped, but I'm okay with it. The longer I wait, the better it will look with respect to the radiated side.

3) I am SO going to wear a bikini in Jamaica in just about 2 weeks. I have been working so hard to be healthy, exercise a lot, and eat well. I think I am on track with a last minute push at the end. I can't wait!