Down, But Not Out

I thought I might give an update on my Red Letter Year.

It hasn't been going all that great.

The one thing I really wanted to do this year was a marathon. My hopes have faded. I hurt my knee during training and I just lost too much training time while it was recovering. Plus, I'm really slow at running. I mean really slow. So slow, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be finishing the marathon before they closed the course. That means I wouldn't get an official time. I don't know if it gets any worse than that - training for several months, running for six straight hours, and NOT getting an official recorded time. Six hours. Really.

Anyway, I decided to try a half marathon instead. My knee still hurts, but it's gotten a lot better. I feel like I have to have some sort of crowning achievement for all the hard work I've put in this year. I still want to do a marathon, but this was just not my year.

Next, is looking good in a bikini for our Jamaica trip in December. While I still think that goal is achievable, I need to really get my butt in gear on that one. I made that goal for myself about seven months ago. I've basically been stuck at a weight-loss plateau since then. I haven't gained anything and I haven't lost anything. Sure, it's been nice to fit into my old clothes (What's better than shopping for new clothes? Wearing old clothes!). But I do not have the confidence nor the abs to wear a bikini at the moment. I need to hold myself accountable to that goal. Really, I do.

And finally... new boobs. While I'm mostly there (I do have boobs, and they are no longer bloobs), I still really want to get nipple reconstruction. There's something very unsatisfying at looking in the mirror and seeing surgical scars and dog-eared edges covering my implants. I've done a little research and I've seen some darn good reconstructed nipples. I think it would really help me to feel whole again. Almost like if I squinted really hard, I could forget that they're not real. The problem is, it can take quite awhile to recover from nipple reconstruction (some patients that say they couldn't get their new nipples wet for a whole month!). And, unfortunately, I do not have that kind of recovery time this year. In the next few months I've got a trip to Jamaica, a Halloween festival in California to see Phish, and a half marathon.

So, it's a little disappointing, but what can I do? I can finish a half marathon (half of an ambitious goal). I can stay on plan and lose that last 15 pounds (really, I know I can). And, I can get over the nipples because the timing is all wrong and I'd rather see Phish anyway. And there's always next year. :-)