Playing the Card

So, today was treatment 20 of 33. I'm almost two thirds of the way there!

It started as most days do, leaving the house at 8:15 and driving to the hospital. The techs were running a little late today, but all that means is that instead of getting on the table around 8:35, I was there at my scheduled 8:45 time. I met with The Zapper, as I do once a week. I got my coffee (today's flavor was Creme Brulee, which was yummy).

As I walked into the parking lot lobby where I validate my parking pass, I noticed that the automated machines were out of order. You see, normally I get a voucher at the radiation clinic. When I put the parking ticket into the machine, I use the voucher to validate the ticket so that I can leave. The machine cancels the voucher and returns both the ticket and the voucher. As you may remember from my last blog post, I save the vouchers and write the day on them and then line them up on my desk. Every day it's my way of telling myself that treatment is over for the day, work has begun, and I can live a normal life for the next 22 hours or so.

So, today the machine was out of order and I had to talk to a "real person" to get my parking pass validated. I knew this was trouble. As I walked up to the window, I asked the clerk if I could keep the voucher.

"No, I can't, because it isn't going to do you any good."

"Well, I know, but the machine usually gives it back and I save them."

"I can't give it back to you because you can't use it any more, it won't work."

"I KNOW..." and then I was upset. Instead of speaking logically, I knew that the best way for me to get my damn voucher was to play the card. Instead of fighting to stay composed, I let tears well up in my eyes a little...

"I come to radiation EVERY DAY and I save these vouchers to keep track of how many days I have left. These are IMPORTANT to ME."

And that took care of it. For about 5 seconds there I don't know if I made myself cry (which I SWEAR I have never done), or I just neglected to stop myself from crying. Either way, I got my damn voucher back, and now it's in its rightful place on my desk with "day 20" written on it.