Retail Therapy

As many women know, shopping can be a wonderful way to relieve stress. We begin by perusing and picking out the things we like. Next, if it's clothing we're searching for, we try things on. Sometimes we whittle down our things by budget. Then, we buy. Lather, rinse, repeat. I think shopping is uniquely feminine - it's the gatherer in us. Now, I don't mean to say that men don't or can't like shopping, or that all women like shopping. Not at all. In fact, I was not always a big fan of shopping. I found it exhausting, and kind of a waste of time. Now, unless I know exactly what I want, or have something like 4 minutes to buy 5 things on a list, I do really enjoy the act of shopping.

I do believe it was Sarah who taught me the art of retail therapy. I don't quite know when it started, but I really enjoy shopping with Sarah. She's the person that will encourage me to try on something that might not look quite right on the rack, but might look absolutely fabulous on the body. She's the person who is not afraid to tell me that, yes, that pair of pants really does make my ass look fat (Rusty would just say that I look beautiful - it's supportive, but sometimes just plain dishonest ;-) And she's also the person that helped me go from a wardrobe that is 98% jeans and t-shirts and 2% ill-fitting miscellaneous special occasion clothing to something that's more along the lines of 75% jeans and t-shirts and 25% classic and cute. I will never give up my jeans and t-shirts.

Oftentimes we play the "How Much Would You Pay For This?" game. There are two reasons we play it - one would be to illustrate how insanely expensive an item is, the other would be to revel in how ridiculously cheap something is (and that, combined with how much we LOVE it, would mean that we have to have it). Here's an example from a recent trip to the home section of TJ Maxx:

"So, how much would you pay for this Italian hand-painted terracotta cake stand?" questions Sarah.

"How aobut $15?" I said. I'm thinking it's not all that pretty to begin with, so I wouldn't really be willing to pay much more than it's functional value.

"Higher."

"$30", Vicki says.

"Higher."

"$50?" By this time I'm thinking there's no way in hell I'd buy this ugly cake stand.

"Higher!"

I think it ended up being $90 or something like that. It will never sell. In case you couldn't tell, this was an example of the "insanely expensive" version of the game.

Anyway, this past weekend was full of wonderful retail therapy. On Saturday, Sarah and Vicki and I went shopping together all afternoon and capped it off with a great dinner at a local tapas restaurant. The entire day was fun, invigorating, therapeutic, "distracting", and it allowed me to be myself, without thinking too much about my cancer or what was going to happen to me in the coming months. I can't really ever forget about it (nor do I want to), but it's good to be thinking and talking about something else. I also got new clothes :-)

On Sunday, I went for another round of retail therapy with Jocelyn. Luckily, as long as one is careful about one's budget (and I am always careful about my budget), retail therapy can be performed often without negative side effects ;-) Jocelyn and I were able to get new Red Sox gear for the game we were going to the next day (today), and we bought her a cute dress that she will wear to a wedding this summer. I also bought a new shirt that says "Green is the new Black". Yay!

Anyway, thank you for letting me indulge in this story that has little to do with being sick, but more to do with having fun.

Also, an update - I do, indeed have a Red Sox bandanna. In fact, I have 2. On Saturday, Sarah and Alex gave me one (thank you!). It's one that was not intended for canines. Also, I got a really soft one made out of jersey material that Melissa sewed for me. I love them both and now I have one for me and one for my bear ;-) BTW, Melissa is my friend from college that is now in medical school, and I believe she is thinking of going into plastics. I wish she could be my surgeon because I have no doubt that she will have all the capabilities of the finest doctor (that should be a given), but most importantly she is has the attention to detail, appreciation for design & symmetry, and precision of Martha Stewart. That's exactly the kind of person I would want to fix my boobs. :-)

Anyway - thank you all for your help with the bandanna search. I thought I'd call off the APB before I got 10 more.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

I have no idea what to write about today. I've thought about maybe a list of Do's and Don'ts regarding what to say to someone with cancer (I think I'm a bit of an expert at that now), but I'm kind of feeling down and exhausted so I thought it might get a little negative and make me feel even worse. (But don't worry - I really looking forward to writing that one...) I'm really trying to keep my spirits up and not dwell on overly negative topics because I feel like it won't be good for myself and those around me.

Today I found out that my first day of chemo will be next Thursday, April 24th. I really hoped it would be sooner. I just want to start it. It's like "waiting for the other shoe to drop." I'm already prepared for what chemo is going to do to my body. I'm not all that distressed about losing my hair (of course, that's easy to say now). It will be a good conversation starter. :-) Seriously, though... every time I see someone I make a decision in my mind about whether or not I should tell them. If I do, it wears me out. If I don't, I feel like I'm hiding something. If I have no hair, there will be no avoiding it.

Speaking of losing my hair, I'm thinking I'm going to go bandanna. I figured I can get lots of different colors and then it will be fun. I will have as many bandannas as my sister has hoodies (you should see her collection). The only weird thing is that I couldn't find a Red Sox bandanna, and that makes me kind of mad. The only one they have is for dogs and I refuse to wear something that was marketed to canines. That really pisses me off. I can get a Nascar bandanna, but not a Red Sox one. I can get a Jack Daniels bandanna, but no Red Sox. Professional Bull Riding, but no Sox (seriously... what's "professional" about bull riding?)

Whatever. I ended up buying lots of other bandannas online. I ordered a pack of 20 paisley ones of all different colors. This way, I will always have a bandanna to match my outfit :-) I also got several Grateful Dead bandannas in different colors. On the bottom is a purple one. Notice the Dancing Bears and the Steal Your Face's in the corners.

If I have to lose my hair at least I can have fun with it. And at least I can be thankful that I don't have hair down to my waist anymore. That would be pretty dramatic. I'm not as attached to it anymore.

Anyway, sorry I couldn't be a little more interesting for today's post. Tomorrow I have a chest X-ray and a MUGA scan. It's a test that makes sure my heart is functioning properly because chemo can damage it, so they want to make sure I'm healthy from the start. Shouldn't be any problems there.