Unscanned

I was supposed to have another scan on March 14th.  This was an extra scan ordered by the study because the results of the last one were so good.  So, I did the usual fasting for 4 hours, arrived at Dana Farber and drank the slightly unpleasant-tasting gastroview stuff, had the IV put in for the blood draw and contrast dye, and made my way to the radiology waiting room.  That description has a way of minimizing how much of a pain in the ass all that stuff is on the days that I have to get a CT scan.  It's kind of annoying.

It took awhile for the labs to come back clearing me for the scan, but when it was finally my turn to get the CT scan I made an off-hand remark to the tech that changed everything.

"So, I'm not sure if this is a big deal, but the last few times I've had a scan I sneezed a few times afterwards," I said.

The first time it happened, I thought it was allergies.  That first time after I sneezed the techs had this look of fear that really freaked me out.  I assured them that it was just a case of seasonal allergies and they let me leave. The next time it happened, I was out of the room by the time I sneezed.  The next time, they asked me if I felt okay and whether or not I needed a glass of water.  Each time, they reacted kind of strangely and it kind of bothered me, so I didn't want to make a big deal out of it (I find that a cancer patient's day goes by more smoothly by minimizing things like this, or so I thought).

This time, I decided to mention the sneezing before the scan, and this turned out to be a big mistake.

"I can't pretend I didn't hear that, Megan."

Huh?  Why on earth is this such a big deal?!

It turns out that this is a sign of an allergic reaction to the contrast dye, and this is something that can get worse.  A sneeze is no big deal, but the tech explained to me that this could escalate to difficulty breathing, even requiring CPR.  Patients that have this kind of reaction are forever marked, and must be pre-medicated the day before the scan to prevent any further allergic reactions.  Since I alerted them before the scan, they had to cancel the scan that day.

I was devastated.  All this prep work for nothing.  All I could imagine was how this was going to mess things up.  What if I had to return the next day for the scan?  I already wasted several hours prepping for this one!  Two IVs in two days?!  Ugh!  Why, oh why, did I have to say anything?  I know a stupid sneeze wasn't going to turn into a big deal this one time.  Sure, it may get worse, but I probably had a while before my allergic reaction turned into something requiring CPR.  Sigh.  I started crying, which just made the whole situation even worse, and it was so embarrassing.

It turned out to be not that big of a deal.  Since this was an "extra" scan, the study doctor agreed that it was okay for me to skip this one.  I'll be getting another one in a couple of weeks anyways, and this time I have a steroid that I have to take 12 hours before the scan.  My oncologist agreed that the whole thing was blown out of proportion and that I probably would have been fine, but she wasn't upset with me or anything.  She was more upset that the tech didn't just do the damn scan and make me do the pre-medication the next time.  But, if there was any time for this to happen, this was the perfect time.  If it was my 2-month scan I probably would have had to come back.

I lamented that I was suddenly becoming a high-maintenance patient.  The funny thing was that my oncologist and research nurse both said at the same time "Ooooooh no.  This is nothing.  You have no idea how difficult some of our other patients can be".  Phew.  The last thing I wanted was to be unseated as Most Pleasant Patient.  :-)

Anyway, the good news is that my platelet counts were good and I was able to be treated on my four-week schedule.  I also told my oncologist and the research nurse that my nausea was so mild on the lower chemo dose that I didn't feel I needed the stronger anti-nausea meds and they let me skip those.  The thing I don't like about them is they make me a little dizzy.  I felt so good my first day of treatment (which was also my first day off as a part-timer) that I ran 6 miles.  I'm training for a half marathon in Worcester in June, hence the long run.  I'll say more about that as it gets closer.

Livin' the Dream

Starting on Pi Day (that's March 14th for you non-geeks) I'll be going to work part time.  This is something I've been thinking about for awhile, and something Rusty and I have talked about over the past few months.  I'll be working 9 hours a day on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  These hours allow me to keep benefits and they would also allow me to be eligible for Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) time off if I really need to stop working.

It all started when I heard an interview on NPR with a writer, Norah Ephron.  The article and interview can be found here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=131161208

I don't remember the whole interview (it's been a couple of months since I listened to it), but the part that really got me was toward the end where she was talking about how she and her friends had a discussion about what they wanted for their last meal.  One of those friends later developed throat cancer, and the sad thing was that she could never have her last meal.  She made the obvious point that you should eat that "last meal" all the time.  Don't wait for it.  That really got me thinking and made me realize that I wanted to do this.

I don't really need to take time off, but I want to enjoy my time now because I feel good and I'm healthy.  I don't want to wish I had done it, I want to do it.  My goal is to spend one of those two days per week getting things done around the house that I've always wanted to do (the kind of things that nag at me).  The other day will be for fun.  I envision lots of sewing and knitting, but I'll keep my options open.

Some people at work know what's going on, but some people don't.  My boss asked me what I wanted to tell people, and we'll say that I'm taking time off to deal with a family situation/help out with family stuff.  It's intentionally vague.  I expect the people who know what's happening in my life to understand, but the people who have no idea hopefully won't ask.  I still don't feel comfortable telling everyone at work at this point.

Hopefully more time will mean more blogging.  We'll see :-)