2:41:36

Today I ran a half marathon in 2:41:36. I am tired, but happy :-)

I was kind of dreading today because I was afraid my knee was going to act up. As you may know, I've been training for a marathon, but I hurt my knee (I-T band syndrome). I saw a sports orthopedist, and I've been doing physical therapy for the last 7 weeks. It has been working slowly, but two weeks ago I attempted to do an 8 mile run and I failed miserably. At 6 miles, my knee hurt so badly I had to completely stop. I had this stabbing pain that came on suddenly. The experience really brought my confidence level way down. Add to that the fact that today was supposed to be a washout (according to the forecast a few days ago), and I was kind of down in the dumps about today.

BUT, it actually went really well. Although I didn't feel prepared because my last few long runs were pretty rough, I knew that this distance was something I could do. I've run close to this distance before, so mentally I knew I could do it. Also, the weather turned out to be pretty good. It was cloudy, but that meant the sun wasn't beating down on us. The temperature was about 60 degrees - not too warm and not too cold.

Terri and Rusty both ran with me for the first 6 or 7 miles. We were following the Galloway method (taking walk breaks) and keeping a pretty good pace. I popped an Aleve at mile 7.5, and I really didn't have much pain until the 10th mile. It started to hurt, but once I was that far, it was nothing I couldn't handle. Rusty broke away at the 8th mile or so (he runs much faster than me, and I don't mind if he goes ahead), but Terri stayed with me the whole way. I would have been just fine if she wanted to go ahead, but having her run with me kept me motivated. We skipped our last two walk breaks and crossed the finish line at the same time. My goal was to finish in under 3 hours, and I was really hoping to be done in under 2:45. We killed that goal!

It felt like such a great accomplishment. I'm so happy I did it. Along the way, our "athletic supporters" (Mom, Billy, Sarah, and Alex) were there to cheer us on. It was so motivating. They drove around during the race and came to see us every 3 or 4 miles. It made me so happy :-) At about mile 9, there was this large crowd of people with pink shirts cheering their runner. I looked at Terri and said "I'm just going to pretend they're my cheering section". Then I realized that our cheering section was right there with them! It was so awesome.

At the very end, I got really teary-eyed and it was hard to breathe. At 13 miles, I knew I was so close! It wasn't the goal I originally planned, but it still felt huge. My mom ran along with me, but we told her she had to slow down so she didn't beat me ;-) Terri and I crossed at the same time and it was done. We went to the beer tent to get our free beer (yum... we really only do races that have free beer) and then we grabbed some lunch and hung out in Hampton for a few hours. There was this cool bar above the boardwalk with an acoustic guitarist playing all kinds of classic rock songs - the kind of setlist where you know every song.

Ahh... It really was a great day. I have a couple of pictures from the event, but I hope to have more soon.

This is me and Rusty pre-race (still smiling):



This is Rusty at about 9 miles (he broke away from us a mile or two earlier):
I will probably have more soon, but for now I think I'm ready for bed!

Ugh... Down AND Out

I discovered something today that my oncologist neglected to mention. The Zometa has knocked me down.

This morning I woke up with slight difficulty breathing. I sucked it up and continued on. I also started feeling some bone pain, sort of like how I felt after my Neulasta shot after chemo. Then came the muscle pain. I figured this was because of all the running I did in the last few days. But yoga didn't help (it was actually kind of painful). And then came the lightheaded feeling and the chills. I think there might be something wrong, no?

I went to my favorite breast cancer site, breastcancer.org and found that many woman complain of feeling like the flu for the first day or two after their Zometa shot. Others describe it as feeling "300". Not sure if that's 300 years or 300 pounds, but I definitely feel like I've swelled up a bit, too ;-)

Seriously, I feel like a big baby. It's one thing when you feel like shit after chemo. It's kind of to be expected. But right now, I feel like shit and I just ran my best 5k in over 3 years just two days ago. I'm supposed to be feeling great, dammit!

Luckily, I only have to take this once every 6 months. For women who've actually had bone metastases, they have to take this once a month. So it's not that bad. Just a little unexpected, I guess.

A Happy Accident

I went to see my oncologist today. I just saw him about a month ago. At that time, he brought up something that had been sort of lingering in the back of our minds. We needed to do something about my ovaries. He was actually disappointed that my ovaries seemed to be firing quite nicely and my periods had resumed. I was actually happy that my body had returned to normal.

The plan was to give me a drug that would prevent my ovaries from producing estrogen, called Zoladex. Since this would effectively put my body through menopause, there is a concern that it could cause osteoporosis, so my doctor scheduled me for a bone mineral density test so that we could monitor any changes.

Today, we were to review the results of my bone density test and discuss anything concerns we had with shutting down my ovaries. Surprisingly, my bone density was below average, to the point where I am considered osteopenic. Osteopenia is considered a precursor to osteoporosis. At first, I was a little upset by this. It's like a whole other thing I didn't think I had to worry about. Then my doctor explained some interesting results from a study that involved breast cancer patients who were also given a drug to help prevent osteoporosis.

In this particular study, the control group received a drug to prevent the ovaries from producing estrogen (just like me). The other group was also given a drug to prevent osteoporosis (also just like me). The women who received the osteoporosis drug were ONE THIRD less likely than the control group to have a recurrent cancer. This is pretty significant and the importance really can't be overstated.

Here is a link to an article about the study:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/12/health/research/12bone.html?em

I actually remember reading about this somewhat recently.

Now, what could be seen as bad news actually turned into something pretty positive. My doctor probably would not have decided to give me Zometa if I did not have bone density issues. My insurance company might not pay for it, and it's not yet considered the standard of care. But now I need it, so I get it.

Both drugs are administered at the oncology clinic. It was a little weird. We went back into the chemo area and sat in an infusion room. The nurse prepped me just like they did for chemo. This was much easier, though. The drip was only about 15 minutes long, compared to the hours I spent getting chemo. Then she informed me that the other injection was a little unpleasant. She told me that she didn't want to let me see the needle because it was pretty big. The Zoladex is like a seed that gets implanted in belly fat and releases over a month, so the delivery needle has to be big enough to contain the seed. Clearly this lady doesn't know me. She got me all scared for nothing. It was really no big deal at all.

And there it is. I will go through menopause. Again. But I had this happy accident of finding out that I have low bone density, which actually turns out to work in my favor.

Next time I can tell you all about my last meeting with my plastic surgeon. The surgery is January 11, by the way.

Down, But Not Out

I thought I might give an update on my Red Letter Year.

It hasn't been going all that great.

The one thing I really wanted to do this year was a marathon. My hopes have faded. I hurt my knee during training and I just lost too much training time while it was recovering. Plus, I'm really slow at running. I mean really slow. So slow, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be finishing the marathon before they closed the course. That means I wouldn't get an official time. I don't know if it gets any worse than that - training for several months, running for six straight hours, and NOT getting an official recorded time. Six hours. Really.

Anyway, I decided to try a half marathon instead. My knee still hurts, but it's gotten a lot better. I feel like I have to have some sort of crowning achievement for all the hard work I've put in this year. I still want to do a marathon, but this was just not my year.

Next, is looking good in a bikini for our Jamaica trip in December. While I still think that goal is achievable, I need to really get my butt in gear on that one. I made that goal for myself about seven months ago. I've basically been stuck at a weight-loss plateau since then. I haven't gained anything and I haven't lost anything. Sure, it's been nice to fit into my old clothes (What's better than shopping for new clothes? Wearing old clothes!). But I do not have the confidence nor the abs to wear a bikini at the moment. I need to hold myself accountable to that goal. Really, I do.

And finally... new boobs. While I'm mostly there (I do have boobs, and they are no longer bloobs), I still really want to get nipple reconstruction. There's something very unsatisfying at looking in the mirror and seeing surgical scars and dog-eared edges covering my implants. I've done a little research and I've seen some darn good reconstructed nipples. I think it would really help me to feel whole again. Almost like if I squinted really hard, I could forget that they're not real. The problem is, it can take quite awhile to recover from nipple reconstruction (some patients that say they couldn't get their new nipples wet for a whole month!). And, unfortunately, I do not have that kind of recovery time this year. In the next few months I've got a trip to Jamaica, a Halloween festival in California to see Phish, and a half marathon.

So, it's a little disappointing, but what can I do? I can finish a half marathon (half of an ambitious goal). I can stay on plan and lose that last 15 pounds (really, I know I can). And, I can get over the nipples because the timing is all wrong and I'd rather see Phish anyway. And there's always next year. :-)

Bandages Off!

I felt like a car crash victim who hadn't seen her face for weeks. I was very curious to see what I would look like after the plastic surgeon took off the bandages at my post-surgery followup appointment. In my head, I knew that what it looked like would NOT be the final result. I've been reading about other people's experiences, and many say that it took months for the implants to take shape.

Still, I was underwhelmed.

As I told my dad, instead of "boobs" it looks like "bloobs" (half way between a blob and boobs). The bandages were tightly wrapped around my chest to limit swelling (versus putting in drains, thank goodness), but there was still a fair amount of swelling in my chest. I couldn't even wear my wedding ring for the first day or two because my entire body was a little bloated. There wasn't much definition, which doesn't seem to make much sense because there was plenty of mal-formed definiting with my tissue expanders, and the implants are the same size with even better shape.

Anyway, I decided to wait to blog because I didn't want to post anything so soon after my initial disappointing view. After a day, things have gotten much better. The swelling has gone down and the implants are taking shape. I know that it's going to get even better as time goes by.

Aside from that, I'm doing great. I stopped taking pain meds yesterday morning, and my whole body actually feels better than it did a week ago. I no longer have muscle pain in my upper back, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. It's quite amazing how bad the expanders were, but I was so used to having them I didn't realize it.

All in all, I'm happy.

Post-surgery

Hello,
I just wanted to send a quick update to let everyone know I'm doing great. The plastic surgeon said he was happy with the surgery. I am all bandaged up and won't be able to see the results, however, until our followup appointment on Wednesday.

My right arm actually feels better than it did before I went in to surgery (it felt like the expander was pushing on a nerve, and since the implants are softer it makes sense that I would no longer have that problem).

The pain is not too bad - on my left side the surgeon had to do more "work" with the pocket, so it hurts a bit more but I am feeling pretty good. There's no doubt that I'm certainly doing a lot better than after the last surgery.

I will probably post again after my followup, but I just wanted to say hello in the meantime. Thanks for all the well wishes!

brief update

We just heard from the doctor a little while ago. All went as well as was expected and Megan is resting comfortably in a recovery room. She'll be there under observation for the next 1-2 hours and if she continues as expected we'll be able to bring her home then. Great news!